Perfect Homeschooling (Just Like Everyone Else)

If our homeschool experience were as perfect as everyone else’s, the upcoming school year would be embraced with joy as I imagine all the creative, Montessori-esque ways we can learn instead of pulling the pre-ordered curriculum out of the box. And then realizing the previous year’s curriculum is still on the shelf, thereby requiring most of the morning of “the first day of school” to be spent deciding what to keep for the memory box, what to store in the basement, what to give away and what to toss.  Yeah, those perfect homeschooling moms are organized too.  They probably don’t have three boxes of homeschool miscellany saved for…..um….well, saved because doesn’t that seem like the right thing to do? Everyone else’s perfect homeschool is undoubtedly far more efficient. And well labeled. Probably with a label maker, not a Sharpie on masking tape.

If our homeschooling experience were as perfect as everyone else’s, I wouldn’t doubt my ability to be able to teach my kids for another year and wonder if I was irreversibly messing them up. I wouldn’t need my little army of friends to encourage me and pick me up on “those days” because I’d have that positive confidence that all the other perfect homeschooling moms possess. All the time.

If our homeschooling experience were as perfect as everyone else’s, “those days” would be so few and far between, I could laugh them off rather than fret over how truly long my kid’s long-term memory is.

If our homeschool experience were as perfect as everyone else’s, I would have that evening’s dinner in the crockpot by 10am. Every morning. The good homeschooling moms don’t make frozen pizzas TWO nights in a row. Unless they’re in bed with the flu. But the admirable homeschooling moms don’t get sick. Ever. Their immune system is amazing due to regular exercise, healthy eating (all organic, of course) and herbs.

If our homeschooling experience were as perfect as everyone else’s, my kids would know what spirulina was. Without the aide of Google.

If our homeschooling experience were as perfect as everyone else’s, I’d be at yoga every morning at 6am, enjoying my Starbucks by 7:07am and home by 7:22 am to wake the children with my perky energy and sing-songy voice of cheer. I would probably feed them organic steel cut oatmeal with berries. And nitrate-free turkey bacon. Perfect homeschooling moms don't allow Pop-Tarts. Perfect homeschooling moms don’t assign a math work sheet at 10:45am just so they can grab a quick shower. Perfect homeschooling moms DEFINITELY don’t sleep through the three iPhone alarms.

If our homeschooling experience were as perfect as everyone else’s, I wouldn’t need that second cup of coffee at 1:30pm.

If our homeschooling experience were as perfect as everyone else’s, the children would always be best friends and arguments would be about who should go first in the game. I’m sure those kids are never banished to separate rooms by a yelling mom. Good homeschooling moms don’t yell. They use their calm, inside voices.

If our homeschooling experience were as perfect as everyone else’s, I would approve an ant farm. And countertop composting with worms. And ducks raised from eggs. And backyard chickens. And bee keeping. And bat houses in the backyard. And everything would be documented and tracked with the children’s daily journals and sketches.

If our homeschooling experience were as perfect as everyone else’s, my Pinterest boards would be waaaaay more exciting and mind challenging and educational and creative. And original.

If our homeschooling experience were as perfect as everyone else’s, I probably wouldn’t wonder if watching Shark Week was “banking” science lessons for the upcoming year.

If our homeschooling experience were as perfect as everyone else’s, I wouldn’t need to rely on the Lord’s strength or depend on His peace to get me through the week...the day…the hour. My tendency towards self-sufficiency and people pleasing would crowd out His strength and peace, which is perfect in provision.