Jesus on a Billboard

As the kids and I were driving north on I-294 in the Chicago suburbs, we were near O’Hare Airport when my eldest child noticed a billboard advertising a religion.  (I believe it was Islam.)   My son’s question to me was, “Why are they advertising?  Is it to spread around their religion or to make money?”  While I don’t know the true answer to his question, I do think the billboard’s purpose is to spread that particular religion and its way of thinking.  One of the kids then joked about putting Jesus on a billboard, which led to an interesting conversation about each of our lives being like billboards.

In some ways, aren’t we all advertising something?  We are sending out messages about who we are and what we believe.  Consistently practicing foolish actions and foolish words advertises that you are a fool.  Ongoing road rage and rude gestures advertises that you are an impatient, angry person.  Selflessly giving advertises that you are a compassionate person.  Being intentional in showing kindness and going the extra mile for others advertises that you are a thoughtful person.  Good or bad, we all advertise for who we are and what we believe at our core.

The saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover” isn’t necessarily true all the time.  In many cases, the cover is giving us a preview of what’s inside the pages.  It is the job of the cover to give a hint of the contents!  I am drawn to many books at the library based on the cover alone…on what it’s advertising.  Is my “cover”…my advertisement…pulling others towards or away from my message and who I really am?

St. Francis of Assisi is credited as saying, “Preach the Gospel always.  If necessary, use words.”  I have always loved this quote and have pondered it often.  Obviously, I can’t “act out” salvation and redemption and other basic beliefs of my faith.  But, I can definitely give a good (or bad) advertisement for what I believe.  I can say whatever I want, but people will look at how I live my life since (unfortunately) words have become many and cheap.  We can draw people to or away from the message of hope that we have to share.

If we were all doing our job effectively, would Jesus need a billboard?

It's About Time

In the nick of time.  Running out of time.  All the time in the world. Time marches on.  Killing time.  Time is of the essence.  Time management.  Time flies.

Maybe it’s because of the recent winter Olympic games that I have become more aware of time.  Everything is measured in time: how fast a certain event is completed, how long an event lasts, how long until the event begins.  And to think that the difference between earning a medal and not getting an Olympic medal can be one-tenth or one-hundredth of a second!  Talk about every fraction of every second really counting!  It’s easy to think that one (literally: one) second of my life is a mere drop in the bucket and doesn’t mean a whole lot…but tell that to the fourth place Olympian who didn’t take home a medal where that one second made all the difference.  Or the 9-11 story of someone who didn’t make their plane because they were running a couple minutes late.

Time is a funny thing.  It can be embraced or despised, depending on the situation.  Seven days of vacation can bring relaxation, fun and smiles.  Seven days left to live for one with a terminal illness can bring heartache, fear and tears.  Forty-eight hours “living it up” in Manhattan versus forty-eight hours of labor.  There are many instances when we cannot control the time allotted or the circumstance.  But how about when we CAN dictate our time?

I am convinced that the average person tends to fall into one of two basic categories regarding the use of time.  People either waste loads of time and rarely get anything accomplished or they cram far too much into a short amount of time.  In either situation, time is not respected.  I am guilty of the latter issue—ten pounds of “stuff” jammed into a box with a five-pound weight limit.  My life often feels like it’s bursting at the seams, where one activity flows into another.  In many schools, the kids are given five minutes of “passing time” to get from one class to the next.  I barely allow that in my life as I’m running from one thing to the next, often dragging my family with me.

As I write thing, I wonder, “What IS my problem?”  I know I am busy pretty much all the time, but is that the best thing for my life?  How many of the bazillion things I do have eternal value?  Am I spinning my wheels, going no where?  It’s all over once I leave this earth…time is meaningless after that.  (And honestly, I just can’t get my head around eternity.)  Am I judicious in how I use my time or am I exhausting myself on the useless?  William Penn is credited as saying, “Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.”

Here’s a little time test:

1) Is my whole day thrown off if I experience a scheduling tragedy? Including, but not limited to: a long freight train, a flat tire, a puking child, a too-long conversation with someone in the grocery store, a doctor appointment running late, a dropped plate resulting in broken glass everywhere, etc.  (The plate thing happened as we were walking out the door for vacation…glass in my purse and in my bag of maps, not to mention ALL over the kitchen and dining room.)

2) Do I allow any time in my day to get into God’s Word and feed the spiritual part of me?  (And, not just the last two minutes of the day before falling into bed, practically unconscious!)

3) Am I afraid to say “no” thereby filling up every available inch on my calendar and every minute in each day?  (What would “they” think if I said no when the day and time is free on my calendar?!?!)  I now see the importance of a little card my mom had taped to the wall near the phone when we were little kids.  It said, “I’m sorry, I can’t.”  This card was her script when asked to add even more to our family calendar once is was full enough.

4) Do I have to schedule fun?  A spur-of-the-moment trip to the zoo is almost unheard of!  If it’s gonna happen, it better be on the calendar and many weeks in advance!  My kids STILL talk about the spontaneous thing we did last year.  We ran to the local grocery store to pick up a prescription, and we saw that across the road, a garbage truck’s load of garbage was on fire.  When I was in the store getting the medicine, I also grabbed a bag of cookies.  After we all piled into the van to leave, I drove to the far end of the parking lot to get a good view of the garbage truck fiasco, handed out the cookies and we watched the incident unfold for the next 30 minutes.  The kids loved it and it was a fun story to tell.

You may not want to know how often I miserably fail this test!  Sitting down to read a good book is almost the only thing about which I don’t feel guilty.  I used to have a schedule worse that a newborn!  I would stay up way too late to “get everything done” only to be too tired to get up at the right time in the morning, thereby messing up my day and causing me to stay up too late to try to get everything done.  Talk about a cycle doomed from the start!  Talk about crooked thinking!

In reality, will any of us ever get everything done?  Um, no! Sometimes I need to step back and wonder how hard I am fighting a non-winnable battle.  I need to give myself a realistic number of achievable goals for the day, then STOP.  And, “cleaning the house” is not one achievable goal!  I knew I had problems when my to-do list looked more like a research paper outline than an actual get-it-done list.  To-do lists should not have subsections!

The hard part is that it’s all GOOD stuff on my calendar and in my life.  What’s so bad about park district activities, baking 300 cookies for the cast of the play, going to four grocery stores to get the best deals, hosting three luncheons in one week, being the team secretary, organizing play dates, etc?  It’s not like I’m adding “cheat, steal and rob” to my list!  Or, am I?  Am I cheating my family of precious time together since we’re always running out to do something else?  (For some reason, they’ve stopped considering it quality time together.)  Am I stealing away any “down time” that we probably need?  Am I robbing my health by being too busy to de-stress and unwind?  I heard a pastor once say, “A GOOD thing becomes a BAD thing when it takes the place of the BEST thing.”  Are my choices the BEST thing for my life?  My family?  My marriage?  My dad picked a ring tone for when I call his cell phone and it’s the Beach Boys song “I Get Around.”  Funny or sad?  The stay-at-home mom title makes me wonder where the stay-at-home part went.

I remember being struck by an obvious truth that I read in Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ book Lies Women Believe.  She said that everyone has been allotted the same amount of time in every day…24 hours.  If we can’t get it all done, then we’re doing more than God has called us to do!  Obviously, this isn’t talking about things like the laundry and dishes.  Believe me, thinking, “Since I can’t ever fully catch up in either area, then God must not want me to do it!” isn’t correct thinking.  Fun, yes.  Correct, no.

We all worship. We were created to worship; to adore.  How is my time being spent?  What does it indicate I worship?  I say one thing and yet how I use my time proves another.  Am I worshipping at the altar of busyness?  Am I allowing any still time so I can crowd out the world and hear what God would ask I do with my life?  “BE STILL, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) is one of the hardest commands for me to obey!  Being still does not equal laziness!  And being still in the hours that I am asleep doesn’t count as taking the initiative to BE STILL in obedience.  Being still allows us to rest in His strength.  To be refreshed.  To hear from God.  To recharge.  To worship.  Every minutes of our lives DOES count—it counts for something.  That “something” is where I need to make wiser choices.

The world will not come to an end if I say “NO” to something for the health and happiness of my family.  After all, I need to have the time to say “YES” to garbage truck fires!

Fast Food at Home

(I’ve been sitting on this blog post for over two weeks and since our computer had a nasty virus, I was unable to post it ‘til now.)

We just came off an incredibly long, hardly-ever-home week, and it was made worse by my failure to properly plan for it.  Usually, I am on top of weeks like this, but I let the past few sneak up on me.  We ended up getting far too many meals from a drive-thru window, and the number of straws in my minivan was evidence of my week…and a reminder that I need to go back to meal planning during a busy time. (Although I gotta say…I am loving this year’s Shamrock Shake with the whip cream and maraschino cherries!)

It is not difficult to have “fast food” on hand in your own home, but it does take some preparation and foresight.  In the end, not only will money be saved, but it is healthier to eat at home.  Listed below are some food ideas that I’ve used on those days when the question, “What’s for dinner?” can send me into a frantic panic, wondering if Cheerios can be a part of a good, balanced dinner.  (It works for breakfast – why not dinner?)  These are ideas that we regularly use above and beyond the mac-and-cheese/hotdogs/frozen pizza standbys.  (This is not about making and freezing complete meals in advance… that’s a whole separate system I have.)

1) Assemble a collection of super-easy and fast recipes that use ingredients which are always on hand.
This starts with a well-stocked pantry – or, in my case, well-stocked shelves in the basement.  I was raised with the practice of stockpiling food when there are sales (not in a “the world is ending!” Y2K kind of way), and I’ve carried this practice into my own home.  When we run out of a pantry staple (peanut butter, applesauce, mayo, oatmeal, pasta, flour, sugar, cream of chicken soup, etc.), the kids know to run to the basement shelves for more.  I keep the shelves well stocked!  (They are divided into categories like canned veggies, baking goods, crackers/cookies, etc.)  If you are fortunate enough to have an extra freezer, keep it filled with some basics.  (more on this later)  I am careful to make sure that my fast-recipe ingredients are always “in stock” in my basement.  Go through your collection, pull out the easy-peasy recipes and stockpile ingredients accordingly!  A family favorite meal is Ball Park Soup served with sweet onion cornbread on the side and raw veggies with Ranch dressing as a dip.

[A side note about onions: my kids would tell you they don’t like onions, but I put them (the onions, not the kids) in most foods and no one can tell!  Sweet onions are a bit pricier than yellow onions, but I think they are worth it.  Sweet onions don’t have as much of a biting onion-y taste and when being chopped (in teeny, tiny pieces, of course), they don’t make your eyes tear up.  For me, it’s a safer choice when I have a sharp knife in hand!]

BALL PARK SOUP
(serves 4 people, but can easily be doubled)


1 can (15 oz) pork and beans (approx. size can)
1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes, do not drain
1 c. diced potatoes
4 beef hotdogs
½ med. sweet onion, chopped fine
1 – 2 cloves of garlic, crushed
½ tsp. caraway (omit if you don’t have this ingredient)
½ tsp. dill (I use dried)
salt & pepper to taste
1 Tbsp. parsley (I use dried)
½ stalk celery, chopped
1 Tbsp. brown sugar
2 Tbsp. vinegar


Sauté hotdogs, chopped onion and garlic ‘til onions are soft.
Add all other ingd and simmer ‘til potatoes are soft. 
Serve hot.


SWEET ONION CORNBREAD
(serves 6 – 8)


2 Tbsp. butter
½ med. sweet onion, chopped
1 c. milk (I use skim)
1 c. sour cream (I use low-fat)
2 boxes (approx. 8 oz. each) corn muffin/bread mix.


Oven to 375 degrees.  Grease bottom of 9” deep-dish pie plate.  Melt butter in skillet and sauté onion ‘til tender.  Combine all ingd.  Pour into pie plate and bake 35 – 40 min or ‘til golden brown.  Top with butter and serve warm.


English muffins and bagels can be used as the base for some yummy meals.  Spread either the muffin or bagel with pizza sauce and mozzarella cheese and broil on a foil-lined baking sheet ‘til the cheese is melted.  Use a pepperoni slice to cover the center hole before the sauce and cheese are added to make it less messy.  Or, spread Dijon mustard on either the English muffin or bagel, top with ham lunchmeat and Swiss cheese and broil for an at-home version of a toasted sandwich.

Change up a basic ham/turkey and cheese sandwich on bread by dipping it in beaten egg and pan frying it like a restaurant Monte Cristo.  Another family favorite using lunchmeat in a “bigger meal” kind of way is this recipe:

DELI SLICES
(serves 8)


1 box (15 oz) refrigerated pie crusts, softened per package instructions (a staple in my freezer)
½ c. fresh grated Parmesan cheese
¾ lb. thinly sliced deli ham
¼ lb. thinly sliced pepperoni
1 c. shredded Cheddar cheese


Oven to 450 degrees.  Removed crusts from packages and press out fold lines.  Sprinkle each with half the Parmesan cheese.  Top each with half the ham, pepperoni and cheddar cheese to within 1” of the edges.  Loosely roll up each crust.  Place seam side down on ungreased baking sheet and fold ends under.  Bake 15 – 18 min or ‘til golden brown.  Cool 5 min.  Slice and serve!

2) Keep cooked meat in the freezer.
This is a huge time saver for me!  I like to brown up a few pounds of ground beef with some garlic and sweet onions (chopped tiny, of course) and freeze half of it.  I season and simmer the other half with taco seasoning before freezing it.  When in need of a quick meal, I just microwave defrost some seasoned meat to make tacos, a taco salad or nachos.  For fast nachos: line a jelly roll pan with foil – spread tortilla chips on foil – sprinkle with taco meat – sprinkle with shredded cheese – broil ‘til cheese melts – serve with sour cream and salsa.  Easy!  (Goes well with the corn bread!)

I like to defrost the plain ground beef to make green pepper free stovetop sloppy joes.  It’s quick and makes the house smell yummy.  Serve on buns or use tortilla chips to scoop and eat.

SLOPPY JOES
(serves 6)


1 lb. cooked ground beef
1 tsp. prepared yellow mustard
½ c. ketchup
½ c. bbq sauce (we like Open Pit for this recipe)
1 Tbsp. brown sugar
1 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce


Mix all ingd. (adjust ketchup and bbq sauce to taste) in pan on stovetop and simmer 30 min.  Serve.  This is also goes well with the cornbread.


Another very simple family favorite is a stove top meal using the pre-cooked ground beef.

BEEF CASSEROLE
(serves 5)


1 ½ lbs ground beef
1 c. white or brown rice (NOT instant, 5 min. rice)
8 oz. spaghetti, broken into 2” pieces
4 Tbsp. butter
4 c. chicken broth (I use low-sodium chicken bouillon and boiling water if I don’t have prepared chicken broth on hand)


Brown raw rice and uncooked spaghetti in butter.  Stir constantly ‘til lightly browned and nutty smelling.  Add cooked beef.  Add broth.  Cover and simmer 20 min or ‘til rice and noodles are cooked.

I also keep cooked Italian sausage in the freezer to later mix with jarred spaghetti sauce.  Serve over pasta with fresh grated Parmesan cheese and it’s a hearty meal.  Breakfast sausage links or patties are another item that I pre-cook and freeze.  Defrost the sausage then cut up the links or patties to add to a nice baked omelet.

BAKED OMELET SQUARES
(serves 6 – 8)


¼ c. butter
1 small onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 c. shredded cheddar cheese
cooked breakfast sausage, cut up (I use at least 9 patties OR 14 links…usually more)
sliced jalapeno peppers (opt)
sliced mushrooms (opt)
sliced black olives (opt)
12 eggs
¾ c. milk
salt & pepper to taste


Oven to 400 degrees.  Grease a 9 x 13 baking dish.  Melt butter in skillet, add onions and garlic and cook ‘til tender.  Spread cheese in bottom of baking dish.  Layer with optional veggies, if using.  Add onion/garlic.  Add cooked sausage.  In bowl, beat eggs and milk with a fork.  Season with salt and pepper.  Pour egg/milk mixture into pan.  Do not stir.  Bake, uncovered, for 30 min or ‘til no longer runny in the center and slightly browned on top.  Allow to cool slightly, cut into squares and serve.


Cooked boneless, skinless chicken breasts are always in my freezer.  I often cook up some pasta, make Alfredo sauce from a packet mix (or open a jar), add some garlic and cut up cooked chicken…and voila!  I also like to shred the cooked chicken (by hand, or with two forks) and simmer it with taco seasoning mix.  The seasoned chicken and some shredded cheese between two flour tortillas go in a 350 degree oven for 5 – 10 minutes ‘til the cheese is melted.  Serve it with salsa and sour cream and you’ve got fast fajitas for dinner.  Often, I skip the chicken and make cheese quesadillas for a pre-baseball game snack or a fast lunch.  Having cooked chicken on hand also allows you to make time-crunched chicken salad.  I chop up the chicken and add chopped sweet onion and celery, a handful or craisins and almond slices (or chopped pecans or walnuts) and half a can of mandarin oranges, drained and chopped.  For the dressing, I thin out the mayo with milk and whisk in some garlic powder, onion powder and dried dill.  All the measurements are “to taste” so be sure to experiment!  Instead of using mandarin oranges and milk, you can thin the mayo with some unsweetened pineapple juice and add chopped pineapple to the chicken salad.  Pre-cooked chicken also makes great wraps: cut up the chicken, toss it with Ranch dressing, bacon bits and shredded cheddar cheese.  Fill a lettuce-lined flour tortilla with the chicken mixture, roll up and enjoy!

3) Marinate meat and freeze.
Throwing some steak or chicken on the grill, baking fries in the oven and opening a bag of pre-cut salad is a great warm-weather quick meal.  When I get home from the grocery store, I immediately marinate some meat, throw it into a zipper top plastic bag and freeze.  (Be sure to label the bag with the date and ingredients.)  There is nothing simpler than chicken mixed with bottled Italian dressing.  My stand-by marinade for almost any cut of steak is a family favorite.  (As a totally geeky side note, “marinade” is properly used as a noun and “marinate” as a verb.)

STEAK MARINADE


½ c. soy sauce
¼ c. brown sugar
¼ c. wine (red or white chosen according to personal taste)
¼ c. olive oil
4 cloves garlic, crushed


Multiply the recipe as needed.

Sometimes (but only sometimes), I am a cool and fun mom and I jazz up my kid’s peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Peanut butter and Nutella (no jelly) or peanut butter and marshmallow fluff (again, no jelly) are easy and fun favorites in our home!

Gotta run – the kids are hungry.  I think it’s a fluff kind of day…although I just might hear a Shamrock Shake calling my name!

Don't Forget

Today, Julia would have been six years old and in Kindergarten. There are a lot of “would have beens” for this baby who was full-term but stillborn; a seemingly perfect baby girl who never breathed outside her mother’s womb.

Julia’s mom is one of “the girls.” (And, I do have her permission to write about this.) There is a group of us girls who have been friends since high school. Life situations have impacted how often we see each other, but we are that group which easily picks up where we left off, no matter how much time has passed. We are the proverbial friends for life. We have been together for more than twenty years, through singleness, marriage, divorce, birth and death. Six years ago, I learned something that greatly impacted me. In the weeks following Julia’s funeral, her mom said she most feared that people would be afraid to talk about Julia and use her name and would then forget about her. That statement stuck with me and has changed how I show love to grieving friends.  I have become more intentional about how I show care and love.

The first week or two after a death, there are cards, calls, hugs, flowers and meals. We need to think beyond the first few weeks. The pain doesn’t go away for those who are grieving. When everyone else has moved on and forgotten the initial sadness of the moment, there is still a raw heart fighting sleepless nights or dealing with regret or fearing running into someone who had not heard about the death. Mail will still arrive in the name of the person who died, making the pain fresh again for those here. Death is a sensitive subject and usually there are tears involved. We need to learn to not be afraid or ashamed of tears! Often, in an effort to avoid bringing on additional pain, we chose to not talk about the person who has passed away. The truth is that the loss is never far from the thinking of those grieving and by not talking about it, we are adding to the loneliness. This is exactly what my friend was afraid would happen with her daughter Julia. The honesty of saying, “I’m not sure how to comfort you, but I care” will be seen as supportive, not awkward. Ask a grieving friend to share a memory about the person who passed away. Look through old photos. Everyone wants to be remembered and often the memories will bring a certain level of comfort.
Be aware that the first Mother’s Day or Father’s Day of not having a parent or child will be horribly hard. Send a card or flowers at that time. The first wedding anniversary without a spouse will be difficult as will the spouse’s birthday. Send an email. Call. Let your friend know that you figure it’s a hard day and tell your friend they are loved. Take the memorial card from the wake or funeral so you can remember the person’s death and birth. I usually write the dates on my calendar so I can remember to send a note or call on what would have been their dad’s birthday, or the one-year anniversary of the death of their mom. Listen for verbal clues of what may be difficult milestones and mark it down so you remember. My friend’s dad passed away last year and she mentioned that it was sad that her dad was no longer around to remember Mark’s birthday along with her. Mark is her brother who had died many years earlier. I wrote down that date in October so when it comes around again, I can let her know that I’m thinking of her and remembering her brother. It won’t be the same as having her dad around to remember, but at least she won’t be alone in her thoughts that day.

Most people are really good about extending their sympathies soon after a death, but there is no expiration date on pain, sadness and loneliness. It only takes a few additional minutes of our lives to walk the extra step of purposeful thoughtfulness. We have to be intentional! Consider this – if you are willing to wait in line for a specialty drink at a coffee shop, would you also be willing to give those minutes to send a card to a friend? I know the answer is YES, so let’s just make it happen. Life is always busy and it’s not likely to slow down anytime soon. Don’t wait for the time; just make the time to be thoughtful. Reach out to a friend who has experienced loss. They may cry and it’s okay. They will also feel loved and will know that their loved one was not forgotten. Don’t forget the important dates that will be bittersweet. There is enormous healing power in showing love to someone who is hurting.  Get active with your concern.  Be intentional in your thoughtfulness.

See you in heaven, baby Julia Marie.

When I am Queen

There are going to be a few changes when I become queen. Not when I’m President. (Although, I could be the Mom Czar and appoint to all moms what I know they need.) I’m gonna be queen. Last I checked, there was no palace, no royal guards on horseback, no centuries old carriage and no jewel-encrusted crowns for President, so I’ll take queen.

Please understand that my changes are not unrealistic fantasies like, “Pizza will have no calories” or “Someone else can exercise and I’ll reap the benefits.” I’m going for queen, not God. My changes are doable. At least in my head. Listed below are some of the most urgent changes, proven extremely necessary by my own life this past month.

1) HOUSEHOLD COOK
When all the children in the home have all their teeth, a Household Cook will be assigned to each family. I never had much of a problem with feeding the kids when they were really little. As babies, options are limited. As toddlers, a cheese stick, cup of applesauce and graham crackers was a perfect luncheon smorgasbord. But then comes the day when the children turn into eating machines and food consumption more closely resembles an Olympic sport where everyone is going for the gold rather than merely life sustenance. You all of a sudden totally understand the absolute NEED for Costco, because why would you ever buy less than 36 eggs at one time? It’s around this time that I lose interest in cooking, because IT’S ALL I EVER DO!! By the time breakfast is cleared from the table, it’s time for the pre-mid-morning snack, which is closely followed by the mid-morning snack, followed by the pre-lunch snack…you get the idea. And where “snack” used to equal a handful of pretzels, it now means “sandwich.”

This is why all families will get a Cook. Since food has morphed into a 24/7 activity, there will now be someone to handle it ‘round the clock. The process of procuring the groceries can be exhausting, so once we get the food in to the home – someone else will create snacks and meals with it. It goes without saying that the Household Cook will also take care of all cleanup. Any well-balanced meals provided are icing on the cake, because at this rate, we’re just going for quantity.

2) LAUNDRY LADY
Or, it can be a man. This will be an equal opportunity position. Yes, the Laundry Lady will do the obvious – the family laundry. But, here’s what else she (or he) will do:

 Wash the towels and sheets once a week like they need to be done! If we’re honest, most of us moms will admit that we’ve laid in bed thinking about all the blue-light-wand/bed-bug Oprah specials we’ve seen, and wondered when was the last time the sheets and towels were changed? No more wondering!

 Find all the sock matches! We will never again need that basket where all the lonely single socks hang out. (or, the pile of single socks laying on top of the dryer)

 Wash specialty items! You know all those things that need to be washed sometimes, but not all the time? Bathrobes, jackets, throw-pillow covers, valances, hats and mittens, bed skirts and picnic blankets stored in the car – it will all be washed and NOT only on an emergency basis due to spills, stains or accidents!

And, it should be noted that all laundry would be folded and delivered to the room of its owner. No more digging through the basket of clean underwear to find a sock match! The Laundry Lady and the Errand Boy (keep reading) will handle all dry cleaning.

3) ERRAND BOY
(Again, it could be a woman – I’m all about equal opportunity.) This person will get it all done and in a timely manner. No more piles of bags by the back door or in the back of the car. Need to return mascara? DONE! Pick up the snow blower from the repair shop? DONE! Go to city hall to pay for and receive the 3-month parking pass? DONE! Forgot just one little thing from the grocery store and need to go back? DONE! When I am queen, we will no longer carry around a bag full of plastic bags that we keep intending to recycle at the grocery store – it will be DONE! We will not have to run to the library to avoid a book fine – it will be DONE and without having to drag tired and crabby children along!

As a side benefit, Errand Boy will also be available to help drop off and pick up children when everyone needs to be at their respective activities at the exact same time and on opposite ends of town.

4) PAPER GENIE
Remember those diaper pails that made a long, sausage-like link of dirty diapers and everything was hidden from sight and smell? We will all have something like that for the multiple piles of papers that seem to duplicate overnight. The Paper Genie will not be a contraption of some sort, but a real person, minus pointy slippers and a genie-like appearance. The Paper Genie will be a paper assistant of sorts…someone to make sense of and give order to the hundreds of dead trees that consume my life, counters, purse, minivan, etc. In this electronic age, I wonder why we still struggle with overwhelming amounts of paper that I dare not recycle because it is probably “very important.” The Paper Genie will take all forms of paper and just deal with it! We will no longer search high and low for the Wal-Mart receipt so we can return the antiperspirant with a dial that doesn’t turn. Paper Genie will know right where the receipt is and will hand it to Errand Boy, who will return said item. The Paper Genie will create and maintain a sensible filing system for all papers, and we will be handed a folder each morning with the paperwork needed for that day. No more permission slip/recipe/greeting card/phone tree/receipt/doctor appointment reminder/homework paper hunts or shuffles. No more shoveling paperwork into a grocery bag in an effort to clean when unexpected company comes over. The paper perfume samples will finally have a home! The Paper Genie will keep it ALL under control!

I am sure that my reign will bring many more valuable changes and I will catalog all recommendations made. But for now, I need to throw some laundry into the washing machine and push the counter-top papers over so I have room to make the meatloaf, because it’s time to bake the pre-dinner snack.

Playing Single Mom

You know how when you go through something, you have a new appreciation and understanding for others who have experienced the same situation? Like women who have undergone a C-section have a specific understanding of that way of birth. Or, how going through major home remodeling gives you a new sympathy for others who are living through the same stress. (I do think that any contractor who administers Valium (or the like) to the homeowners living in and through the home remodeling process would have more going for them. Or, at least administer said medication to the woman of the home. But, I digress.)

While I admit to NOT having a true understanding of what it’s like to be a single mom, I have a renewed appreciation for those who are. This happens to me every January through March, as this is my hard-working husband’s busy season. Literally, he is gone from the home from before 7 in the morning until he walks back in the door anywhere from 9:30 to 11:30 at night, depending on the train schedule. There are many days in a row when the kids don’t even see him. My husband is an accountant and while his "busy season" is unrelated to the April 15th tax deadline, it is related to closing up the books for the corporation’s fiscal year. There are a lot of complicated computations, international accounting stuff, number crunching, reporting and filing stuff with the government. I try so hard to understand all he does, but I don’t (heck, I’m calling it "stuff") and I’m okay with that. I just know he’s gone. A lot. I want to state that I am 100% grateful that my husband has a job. I’m not complaining about his hours; just trying to explain my current situation and thought process.

I would imagine that women whose husbands travel frequently experience this same "playing single mom" thing. Not that it’s some game that I like to play—but I do feel as though I’m in competition to maintain my patience, sanity and happy mommy face. I think of my homeschooling, mother-of-6 friend whose husband has to go out of town for a week at a time, on a regular basis. She plays single mom too. While I know that I have been called to homeschool our own kids, it’s during "busy season" that it can get tough! There aren’t many breaks from the kids and while I know that sounds horrible, I’m just keeping it real. However, I have a light at the end of the tunnel, as does my friend. I know that our family just needs to survive til spring, then it’s "game over" and dad is home for dinner again! And there’s someone else around to help get the kids into bed! And, dinners tend to get a bit more gourmet than mac-and-cheese or pancakes! (Recently, I DID wrap the hotdogs in crescent rolls...points for gourmet efforts?!) When life goes back to normal, I stop entertaining myself in the evenings with mind-numbing TV! (Seriously, a 150 pound tumor?!?!) Single moms don’t have that deadline; they have to hold it together with the mind frame of indefinite.

Over the past couple weeks, I’ve been struck by the temporary nature of my situation. Believe me, the temptation is always there to wallow in the details of the day and think dramatic "it’s-never-going-to-end" thoughts. I’ve really focused a lot on the word "temporary" which has brought me encouragement! This won’t last forever, despite my all too frequent exasperation. This focus has led me to think a lot about my single mom friends. They don’t have a set date of when it all gets resolved and life "goes back to normal." I think of my single mom friend with five kids and I’ve been so convicted to really pray for her (and others). During my own seasons of frustration, I have been incredibly encouraged by friends who have said, "I don’t have all the answers, but sometimes life sucks, and I get that and I love you and am praying for you, friend." Single moms especially need to hear that message! A couple months ago, while dealing with some very sick kids for a few weeks, I had a dear friend send me an encouraging note and a gift card to a coffee shop. It was like a little energy drink of instant encouragement….she TOLD me that she cared and she SHOWED me!! I felt revived, in a way. We ALL need encouragement, but how vital it is to a single mom! Affirming words are like being given oxygen—refreshing, calming and restorative to the soul.

As I’ve been doing my short-term single mom stint, I’ve also been working on doing some positive and proactive things for single moms, women whose husbands travel/work long hours or women who need a lift of encouragement. So many of us make dinners for people when there’s a new baby in the family, or when there’s been a death in the family. How about making a dinner for a single-parent family…either invite them over for dinner or drop a meal off at their house. Stop by with a cup of hot coffee and a pan of brownies, and you’ll make that mom’s night! (Use disposable pans to make it really easy.) Want super easy? One time I brought hot chocolate and bread from Panera to a friend who needed encouragement, and I didn’t even go into the house…it was a hug-and-run deal. Easy, and she felt loved! I can guarantee you that a hand written note of encouragement will not be casually tossed aside, but read and savored many times over. Send a Valentine’s Day card to your single mom friend and tell her she’s amazing! Drop a chocolate bar tied in ribbon on the porch or between the doors and you’ll generate lots of smiles. I remember when some of us got together and provided a bag of groceries and diapers for a newly single mom; she was touched beyond words. It’s these acts of thoughtfulness and generosity that mean so much to a tired, and often frustrated and lonely single mom. Of course, these loving gestures can be done for anyone, but I think our friends who are single moms need them! It’s amazing how putting our energy, thoughts and focus on others can change our own mindset and attitude about ourselves! Be someone’s oxygen—their breath of fresh air—this week!

Excuse me now while I clean up the dinner dishes from our grilled cheese, carrot sticks and apple slices so I can focus on the Siamese twin sisters, followed by women who didn’t know they were pregnant. Really.
　

Free Coffee!

It happened to me on Saturday morning when I least expected it. (Not that I ever "expected" it!) I was the recipient of another person’s thoughtful act of kindness! It felt weird and wonderful and I liked it.

Recently, I had an early morning meeting at Elijah’s, my favorite local coffee shop. I walked up towards the counter and got in line behind a middle-aged woman who had just finished paying for her order. She turned to me with a big smile and as she wished me a "Happy New Year" she handed me a fully punched get-a-free-coffee drink punch card. While my brain registered, "Oh! I’m getting a free drink!" my facial expression and body language showed slightly confused disbelief. She again held the card out towards me and said, "All you owe is a smile." I took the card and smiled…and realized that I kept smiling! There was no effort required to genuinely smile after what had just happened.

As I ordered my coffee, I chatted a bit with this angel of free coffee. She told me that she always gives away her free drink card to whoever is behind her in line. And, she loves doing it. She gets a great feeling from surprising a stranger…not to mention the great feeling the stranger has. My day sure started off well based on the kindness I received! Guess the first thing I told my family about when I got home from the meeting?

What a win-win situation! Getting a hole punched on my coffee punch card is icing on the cake. I am still going into the shop to buy a cup of coffee, punch card or not. So there is really no personal cost to passing along a fully punched card. The only "cost" – the only out-put required – is the mind-frame of purposeful generosity. This is something all of us can, and should, afford! My kids need to see me practicing actions like this so they can learn the fine art of purposeful and creative generosity.

We can not predict the snowball affect of our actions. (Unfortunately, this applies to both positive and negative actions.) I was thrilled and wonderfully surprised by something as small as free coffee…it felt like a gift for "no reason." And who doesn’t like a gift?

Guess what I’m doing with my own punch card once it’s full? You may want to get in line behind me!