Gift Giving and All That Stress

It has happened!  The catalogs are in full assault, the red cups are back and (except for Nordstrom), it seems every store has been decorated for Christmas for months.  This also means that the stores will be filled with bewildered people wondering which item…which Black Friday Door Buster…is the “perfect gift” for dad, niece, grandma, son, teacher – and the list goes on.  I’ve seen the stressful masses and I do not enjoy being a part of them.  This “what-do-I-buy?” happens throughout the year with events such as birthdays, weddings, mother’s and father’s day, and graduation, but it’s most acutely felt at Christmastime.

Over the years, I have had some successes and failures with gift giving.  (I did not see it coming that my middle child decided he outgrew light sabers after we proudly presented him with tricked-out, battery eating beauties.  Definite fail.)  Good gift giving takes a little creativity, moderate planning and a lot of copying.  Some of the best gifts I’ve given have been variations of something I’ve seen.

Before you run out to buy anything, take some time to make an actual list of EVERYONE on your gift list.  Next to each name, jot a few notes, no matter how seemingly random, about the person’s interests, hobbies, dreams and profession.   You never know what is going to jump off that list and inspire you when you’re out shopping.  A few months ago, I found some police themed sleeping pants (on clearance sale!) that were perfect for my son who wants to go into law enforcement.  Think back to conversations (or start purposefully listening to current conversations) and pay attention to phrases such as, “Oh, I just love…” or “Isn’t that cool?” or “Gosh, I wish…” Knowing my mother in law would love to visit the Provencal region of France led me to give her a beautiful full-color calendar of the area.

It’s also a good idea to develop some kind of system to track your purchases, or you’ll have ten perfectly adorable gifts for the 7-year old girl and nothing for the 17-year old boy.  Keep your system simple and then use it!  Write on 3 x 5 notecards, in a notebook, under ‘notes’ on your smartphone – whatever works for you.

In no particular order, below are some thoughts and ideas about gift giving.  It should be understood that a lot of my purchases are made well in advance with helpful sales involved.  I am basically done with our Christmas shopping and that is a stress-reliever for me!

TEACHER GIFTS: Having a dad who was a teacher confirmed to me the over-use of #1 Teacher-themed mugs, notepads or ornaments and the plates of suspicious looking home-baked treats.  In recent years, I think most everyone has gotten away from the teacher-themed gifts and that’s a good thing!  Better options are scented hand soap in a pump bottle, a monogrammed hand towel (I bought some at Kohl’s for less than $5 each) or (especially for the guys) a gift card to local coffee shop, sandwich shop or bookstore.

(There is one exception to giving the teacher-themed gifts and that’s for a homeschooling mom! I have one mug, one ornament and one teacher-themed writing paper set and I LOVE them!)

GIFT CARDS: Although these may seem impersonal as a go-to gift for family members and close friends, they are perfect for tutors, teachers, the newspaper delivery guy and anyone else you don’t know on a personal level.  (Do not mistake the beautiful gift of a coffee shop gift card as impersonal for me!)  I always try to support local ice-cream stores, pizza places, coffee shops, bakeries and markets by giving gift cards to the privately owned places.  A gift card to a casual restaurant (Portillo’s, Chipotle, Culvers, Panera, pizza place, etc.) is a thoughtful gift to add to a baby congratulations card.

MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS:  This is a fun and often overlooked gift idea.  And, it’s the gift that keeps on giving all throughout the year!  There are magazines on every subject imaginable, from crafts, cooking and computers to animals, science, news and travel.  Check out the expansive magazine selection at your library or bookstore for ideas, and then search online for subscription discounts.  There is some kind of discount available for almost every magazine.  Both World Magazine http://www.gwnews.com/ and Focus On the Family http://family.christianbook.com/fotf-magazines?p=1143702 have some great Christian-based options for children of various ages.  Do you know someone who homeschools?  Try The Old Schoolhouse for some helpful ideas and encouragement.  http://www.theoldschoolhousestore.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=485  A middle or high school aged sports fanatic?  My kids LOVED Sports Illustrated Kids (and yes, it was appropriate for children). http://www.sikids.com/  National Geographic for Kids http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/kids/ and the offerings from the National Wildlife Federation http://www.nwf.org/ChildrensMagazineCenter/KidsPubs_Offer.aspx?campaignid=NC11DA9XA8TS46&adid=73 are great options that my kids have enjoyed.  (As a side note, all these websites are chock full of great articles, information and activities.)

GIFTS FOR GRANDPARENTS:  How many homemade ornaments or Popsicle stick trivets does one Grandma need?  For the people who seem to have whatever they need and swear they don’t need anything else, there are still good gift ideas out there!  Consider a photo gift – a mouse pad, notebook, deck of playing cards, and a tote bag are just a few of the numerous items offered by the photo sites of Walgreens, Snapfish and Shutterfly, to name a few.  Get all the grandkids together for a photo shoot and present a framed masterpiece to the proud grandparents.  One year I copied and expanded on an idea I saw in a jewelry store, and my mother-in-law was thrilled.  I had a bracelet made for her with each child and grandchild’s birthstone represented by a colored crystal bead.  Not only was it pretty to look at, but it had personal meaning.  Other gift ideas for the grandparent set are DVD collections of favorite TV shows from “back in the day” (Lone Ranger, Jack Benny, Gunsmoke, etc.), CD compilations of old time radio (The Green Hornet, Burns and Allen, Fibber McGee and Molly, etc.), or a DVD collection of TV commercials from the 1940’s, ‘50’s and 60’s.  (Amazon.com carries all these items and at competitive prices.)  Tickets to a local dinner theatre, symphony or museum exhibit are well loved.  My folks got a paid membership to a DVD mail-rental service and loved it.  Gifts that don’t require storage or dusting are always a big hit with my folks!

PHOTO BOOKS:  Dispel the idea that you need to become a scrapbooking maniac in order to make a photo book as a gift!  It seems everyone in the photo business has beautifully simple, SUPER easy to assemble digital photo books.  A year-in-review photo book makes a special gift for an out-of-state grandparent.  I’m in the process of creating a photo book of a trip a few of us took for my friend’s 50^th birthday – what a great way to commemorate all the fun we had!  Scan old photos from your high school days and make a digital photo book for a friend’s 20^th reunion or 40^th birthday.  The options are endless and there is ALWAYS some discount available!

MIDDLE SCHOOL/HIGH SCHOOL: For a guy - start his toolbox!  Even if you have an artsy, musical guy in your life, he will need certain items like work gloves, a tape measure, screwdriver and a hammer.  (And, although they may not realize it now, girls will need and use this stuff too!)  Giving a Live Butterfly Garden is an educational AND fun gift that is enjoyed by all ages.  http://www.amazon.com/Insect-Lore-Live-Butterfly-Garden/dp/B00000ISC5  (The box said it was for ages 5+ and I can assure you I enjoyed ours as much as my kids did!)  The aforementioned magazine subscription is a good gift option, as are event tickets.  Send a teen and a friend to a music festival or concert and you’re instantly cool!  We surprised our middle kiddo with “Monster Jam” tickets, and he enjoyed an insanely loud afternoon watching monster trucks drive, jump, flip and crash.  Arrange to enroll the pre-teen or teen in a class or camp that feeds an interest, like a jewelry making class or a cartoon drawing class or a winter-break sports camp.  Check with the local park district for a list of available classes and camps.  Our county's forest preserve district offers a wide variety of activities and classes that a teen would love.  Spending time with the teen in your life is a great memory-building gift.  Treat him or her to lunch followed by shopping/bowling/movie/afternoon of baking/video gaming.  I remember how special and loved I felt when an adult who wasn’t mom or dad chose to spend time with me.

WEDDING:  If you want to include a little gift in addition to cash or something off the registry, there are some useful gifts to consider.  Return address labels are a fun gift to give, especially when the newly married couple will have a lot of thank-you notes to send!  Another fun gift idea is a subscription to a cooking magazine.  A gift card to a hardware store is always useful, even if the couple lives in an apartment!  A helpful gift to a newly-wed couple is to drop off a meal when they just get home from their honeymoon.  Most couples return and hit the ground running, and it’s awfully nice to have dinner ready to go!

HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION:  Yes, money is needed and appreciated by all high school graduates, but another gift that is a guaranteed hit is something from their prospective college.  Go to the college’s online bookstore and buy a t-shirt, folder, notebook, mug, etc. for the graduate.  Did you know that for about $10 you can get a roll of duct tape with a college logo?  How fun is that?  Amazon.com sells collegiate themed duct tape for about fifty different state schools and universities!  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_13?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=college+duct+tape&x=0&y=0&sprefix=college+duct+#/ref=a9_sc_1?rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acollege+duct+tape&keywords=college+duct+tape&ie=UTF8&qid=1322018497

GROUP COUPONS:  Groupon.com and LivingSocial.com have become very helpful for creative gift giving!  (Quick summary: Local businesses offer gift certificates for products or services at roughly half off.  Recent offers have included restaurants, coffee shops, bookstores, magazine subscriptions, manicures/pedicures, cooking classes, digital photo books, bowling, golf and so much more.)  Do a Google search for “group coupons” and you can find numerous sites that serve cities all across America!  These group coupons can be printed and presented or emailed to the recipient.  I recently bought my nephews and niece a $10 gift certificate to a frozen yogurt shop near their house and paid only $5.  My boys were thrilled to receive a gift certificate for the local batting cages, mini golf course and concession stand.  These group coupon sites are a sensible way to check out different businesses, and I've become a return customer at many!

Stress not!  You CAN give “the perfect gift” and avoid aimless wandering through the over-heated, crazy-people packed malls.  Remember to make a list, copy ideas and tweak them until they’re just right. 

And, if they only made Stars Wars themed duct tape, I'd be Aunt Hero!

Just Wondering.....Why?

Why did I ever loathe going to bed?  From a crying a baby to a teen who stayed up way too late – why, oh why did I not embrace a good night’s sleep from the start?

Why did I think so negatively about my teenage/pre-baby body?  Who in the heck made me believe a size 8 was too big?  Or my personal favorite: I had a big butt in those size 8 jeans.  Really??  That size 8 body had no idea what was coming!

Why did I believe that I’d become a tidy neat-freak once I was a stay-at-home mom and “had time to be home”?  I could almost laugh if I wasn’t crying.

Why did I save all that crap?  Throwing away the last four inches of ribbon would not have been wasteful.  My “save it just in case I need it” pile requires its own storage room! Ripping out all the magazine articles to read while the kids napped?  Hahaha.  I’m finding five-year-old articles about the upcoming “smart phones that may prove to be revolutionary.”

Why did I think the toddler years were so tiring and exhausting as I was dreaming of the day the kids were older and more independent?  Um—no change.  It’s different, yes.  But it’s still tiring and exhausting.

Why didn’t I just donate those clothes instead of moving the boxes around every few years?  I’m not going to wear the Winnie-the-Pooh shirt that I once thought was cute.

Why did I not label all my photos as I had them developed and printed?  (Where was that Easter egg hunt?  And who the heck is that lady at my wedding shower?)

Why did I worry so much about pleasing everybody and their neighbor?  Why was I so afraid to say “no” when it would have been the best thing for my family?  Playing a faux super woman takes its toll on the woman, her husband and their children.

Why did I never ask these questions earlier in my life?

Because I'm Not Your Friend

Although this may never be scientifically proven, I sincerely doubt that I am “irreversibly ruining your life” with the way I mother you.  Despite being old and decrepit and out of touch, I still have a few working brain cells and I am using them to parent you.  I would say, “I’m sorry” about all the ways I have deprived you, but I’m really not sorry at all.

I am your mother, not your friend.

While “everyone else” has unlimited, 24-hour a day access to the internet, cable, their mp3 player, and internet cell phone, I have cruelly set limits on your tech time.  I even ask that you talk to me beyond ur txts 2 me asking wats 4 dinnr.  You’re not going to freak out, lose it or hyperventilate because you can’t have your mini-speakers shoved into your ear holes when we’re in the car driving from point A to B to C.  Look around, notice your environment, and talk with dear old mom.  I’ll turn up my hearing aide and pop in my dentures so I can hear you AND respond.  And while I agree that YouTube is incredibly entertaining, there is more to life than bitten fingers, sneezing pandas, unicorns and various dance moves.  Actual, real, living people are all around us….I see living people.  Meet them.  Chat.  Develop new friendships with all people of all ages.  Yes, I am seriously old-fashioned that way.

Because I am your mother, not your friend.

I should probably also confess that my anti “hanging out” views are not newly developed opinions, created to ruin your free time.  When you were a baby and the stroller and I had to dodge throngs of teens just “hanging out” at the mall or in town, I CLEARLY remember resolving to squash the hang out habit.  If you have a shopping list, money and a goal, then by all means – enjoy the mall.  But, you and eleven of your closest friends needing a whole afternoon to procure some flip flops…uh…NO.  If you’re going into town for a movie or a burrito, I’m all for that.  Wanna meet up to eat pizza and play wiffle ball?  Great!  But, just loitering while penniless in a group of teens is not cool, no matter how awesome you think you all look.  The Second Law of Thermodynamics is a constant, so have an organized purpose.

Because I am your mother, not your friend.

Speaking of penniless – I probably won’t be changing my mind about your “financial freedom.”  Dad and I aren’t holding you accountable for the usage of your money because we are power-hungry control freaks.  We are doing you a favor for your future as an adult by training you now in healthy financial habits.  Trust me on this one.  Giving away and saving portions of your funds are healthy practices.  Learning to plan and save for big ticket items instead of impulse buying will serve you well in the future.  The sooner you learn you can’t have it all, the better.  Appreciate what you have.  Learn contentment.  You’re not gonna have the latest and greatest and I’m okay with that.

Because I’m your mother, not your friend.

And, about my multiple “interrogations” about your life...no, I am not practicing my skills for the FBI, CIA or a future as a PI.  I birthed you (future counseling already anticipated for this realization), you live with me and I’m responsible for you, for many years to come.  You can bet your butt I want to know your friends.  I actually care about your school day and “fine” is not an acceptable adjective to describe a 7 ½ hour day.  Remember the game we started playing when you were in preschool?  Every day when I was making dinner, I’d ask for you to tell me the best part of your day and the worst part of your day?  Notice how I still play that game with you on a regular basis?  Come on…play along!

Because I’m your mother, not your friend.

So you see, I’m not hurt or concerned that you think I am terribly old-fashioned and pathetically uncool.  Truly, I do not want to embarrass you.  But you need to know that I am not afraid of you and your displeasure in me.  I am not trying to earn your approval.  I know I’ll never be given the “cool, fun, awesome” award.  Heck, I may even win the "Meanest Mom" award.  (I clearly remember your grandma winning that award when I was living at home.  Huh.)  I’m not going to fix every hard knock in your life or rush out to counter-balance your every disappointment.

Because I’m your mother, not your friend.

And, if I do this mom thing right, someday I’ll say, “Because I’m your mother and your friend.”

Recipe Time - All Fruit.

A new post is long over due and ‘tis the season for recipes featuring fresh fruit!  These are my go-to choices when entertaining and they are guaranteed winners!  (“Guaranteed” as in: if you don’t like the recipe, just don’t make it again!)  The base of each recipe is not original…I clipped it from the newspaper, or copied it from a magazine or collected it from any number of places.  However, I have tweaked each recipe, making changes in both ingredients and measurements, and even merging a few like recipes into one “perfect” recipe, and I now consider these my own.  After each recipe, I have added some notes with extra prep or storage information.


BAKED BLUEBERRY CINNAMON OATMEAL
½ c. oil (canola or vegetable)
1/3 c. white sugar
1/3 c. brown sugar, packed
2 eggs
1 c. milk
½ tsp salt
1 Tbsp. baking powder
1 Tbsp. cinnamon
3 c. quick cooking oats
1 c. fresh blueberries, rinsed and drained
½ c. chopped walnuts (more to taste)
TOPPING: 1-2 tsp cinnamon mixed with ¼ c. brown sugar

With mixer, beat together oil and sugars.  Mix in eggs, milk, salt, baking powder, cinnamon and oatmeal.  Beat well, then stir in blueberries and walnuts.  Pour into lightly greased casserole dish, or an 8 x 8 or 9 x 9 pan.  (ceramic or glass is best)  Cover and refrigerate overnight.  The next morning, remove pan from fridge and preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Sprinkle oatmeal with cinnamon-brown sugar mix.  Bake until firm, about 35 minutes.  Serve hot.

• This recipe can easily be doubled and made in a 9 x 13 pan.
• It is not pertinent to assemble this the night before.  I actually prefer this dish mixed together the morning it is to be served, but do what works best for your schedule.
• The blueberries, walnuts and cinnamon can be increased or decreased to taste.  Pecans or almonds can be substituted for the walnuts.
• This is NOT a mushy, lumpy, gruel-like, icky porridgy Little Red Riding Hood dish.  It tastes more like a sweetened granola cake.
• Keeps in the fridge for a few days after it’s made.

APPLE COLESLAW

4 c. chopped cabbage
2 unpeeled red apples, washed, cored and chopped fine
2 unpeeled Granny Smith apples, washed, cored and chopped fine
1 large carrot, peeled and grated
½ c. finely chopped red pepper
3-4 green onions, finely chopped
½ c. mayo
¼ c. brown sugar, packed
1 Tbsp. lemon juice

In a large bowl, combine cabbage, apples, carrot, red pepper and green onions.  In a small bowl, mix mayo, brown sugar and lemon juice.  Pour dressing over salad.  Toss.  Refrigerate before serving.

• More dressing can be used, to taste.
• The beauty of this slaw is that the veggie and fruit measurements can be increased or decreased to taste.
• I use the packaged, ready-to-use shredded cabbage

FRESH STRAWBERRY MUFFINS*
(* the term “muffins” is used lightly…these are more like cake!)

2 c. flour
2 tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. salt
1 c. sugar
2 c. strawberries, finely chopped
2 eggs
½ c. butter, melted
½ c. milk
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

Heat oven to 375 degrees.  Melt butter in the microwave and set aside to cool a bit.  In a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder, salt and sugar.  Add strawberries and gently toss till coated.  Set aside.  Beat together cooled butter, eggs, milk and vanilla.  Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients.  Gently stir till combined.  Spoon batter into lightly greased muffin tin (or use paper liners) until 2/3 full.  Sprinkle each muffin with large granulated decorator sugar.  (regular sugar can also be used)  Bake until set, about 25 min.

• Do not use dark metal muffin tins.  The berries will burn.
• If you can find the decorator sugar, it’s worth it for this recipe.  You will need to go to a bulk food store, a restaurant supply store or check in the cake-decorating aisle of a big box store.

BANANA CAKE
2/3 c. Crisco
2 ½ c. flour
1 2/3 c. sugar
1 ¼ tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
½ tsp. cinnamon
½ tsp. nutmeg
3-4 very ripe bananas, mashed
1/3 c. buttermilk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Cream Crisco and sugar together.  Add remaining ingredients and mix till moist.  Then, beat 2 min. on med speed.  Scrap sides of bowl.

Add:
1/3 c. buttermilk  (yes, ANOTHER round of buttermilk!)
2 eggs

Beat 2 min. longer

Stir in 2/3 c. chopped walnuts (opt)

Lightly grease and flour 9 x 13 pan.  Pour cake batter into pan and bake 35 – 40 min. until set and golden brown on top.  Pour half bag to a whole bag of mini chocolate chips on top of cake.  Once chocolate chips soften, spread to cover the top of the cake.  Cut cake after cooled, but before chocolate topping hardens.

• To make a quick version of buttermilk, add half to one teaspoon of vinegar or lemon juice to regular milk and let sit a few minutes until lumpy.

BLUEBERRY ZUCCHINI BREAD
3 eggs
¾ c. oil
1 Tbsp. vanilla extract
2 ¼ c. sugar
3 c. shredded zucchini, water squeezed out
3 c. flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder
¼ tsp. baking soda
2 Tbsp. cinnamon
1 pint fresh or frozen blueberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Lightly grease 4 mini-loaf pans.  In a large bowl, beat together eggs, oil, vanilla and sugar.  Stir in zucchini.  Beat in the flour, salt, baking powder and soda and cinnamon.  Fold in the blueberries.  Pour into loaf pans. Bake 50 min or until knife inserted in the center of loaf is clean.  Cool 20-30 min in pan then remove to cool on wire rack.

• Be sure to remove as much water from the zucchini as possible.  I grate the zucchini on a stand-up cheese grater, then lay it out on paper towels and cover it with more paper towels to absorb the water.
• I call this blueberry cake bread and my kids eat it.  They would TELL you they don’t like zucchini, but they love this bread!
• This bread freezes well and makes a great hostess gift.

Exercising In Skinny Jeans

So here’s the honest truth: I really don’t like to exercise.  I never have and I kinda doubt I ever will.  I actually loathe exercise.  (However, if hell freezes over and I start to love exercise, I’ll be happy.  I guess.)  

You know how there are those lithe chicks who throw their hair up into a ponytail, put on exercise pants/capris (of course, with room to spare because they don’t come smaller than size zero) and workout for an hour (oh—just a little workout!) with hardly breaking a sweat?  Then, they grab coffee with a friend while still wearing their workout clothes, but looking darn cute and still freshly coifed, and run to the grocery store before heading home.  And, of course, they’re cheerful and perky the whole time.

Yeah, that’s so not me.

I sweat like a pig.  Or a teenage boy playing baseball.  (Not that there’s much difference.)  I don’t make workout clothes look cute.*  Exercise does not make me cheerful and perky.  I throw my hair up into a ponytail and my frizz-prone hair looks like I was caught in a down pour…and that’s just after the exercise warm ups.  I sweat in places where I didn’t know sweat glands existed.  And, it’s obvious sweating.  Roll-down-my-face-sweating.  Not “glowing” or “glistening” or any other cutesy word.  It’s full out, man-sized sweating.  It’s gross.  

They say that exercise should release some kind of hormone or chemical that makes you feel great!  I don’t think I was born with that hormone/chemical.  

I’m tired, crabby and hungry when I’m done exercising.  (* When my middle teenaged child saw me in my new sausage casing workout capris, he asked, “Holy cow, Mom! Did you, like, get skinny jeans?!?!”)

While I may not feel or look (or smell) good after I exercise, I AM proud of myself for actually doing it.  Exercise is good for my health, regardless of how I feel about it.  If I waited until I was “in the mood” to exercise, I’d never do it.  Kinda like I have NEVER ONCE craved a salad or peas or carrots.  If I waited until I was “in the mood” for veggies, they’d never pass these lips.  (Although, in full disclosure, I do not and will not eat peas.  I have my personal limits.)

So although I don’t like it, I AM exercising.  And having accountability really helps.  My friend Michelle and I got on this kick together as we are training for walking 60 miles in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk For A Cure.  (www.the3day.org)  In Chicago.  In August.  (Did I mention I don’t like to exercise?  Or sweat?  Yeah.)  Michelle is motivated and doing far more than and better than me.  But, having her accountability and companionship has been motivating me to do more.  She and I have some striking similarities.  We both sweat A LOT.  We don’t love and adore exercise.  (Sometimes, on occasion, we even tend to whine about it.  Occasionally and sometimes.)  And, we’re not lithe ladies.  (yet)

The quote, “A burden shared is a burden halved” and the verse in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (“Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up”) are so true!  A five-mile walk on my treadmill does not seem to fly-by as does a five-mile walk with Michelle.  By doing a disliked discipline together, we are providing encouragement and help to each other.  When I’m on the treadmill because the weather is too bad to be outside, the miles are easier to endure if I can distract myself from watching the minutes go by.  I started with listening to music and talk radio, but found that my eyes needed to be OFF the mile and calorie counters.  (Oh yay—all that work for burning off the 14 M&M’s.)  Reading has proven to be a great distraction while on the treadmill.  It almost makes me really want to hop on that conveyer belt going no-where just to read a few more chapters!  Yes, it is pathetic to dangle that carrot in front of myself – but hey, it works!  Pathetic or not, I need to use whatever is going to work

So what’s your dreaded thing that needs to get done?  If you seek out accountability from someone who can share the burden, it WILL be easier to get going and stay going!  Or, figure out what you can do to entice yourself—dangle a carrot for yourself!  There are very creative solutions out there!

And if you know someone who is working on something fairly dreadful and frustrating (a diet, exercising, job searching…heck, parenting can be included), give them some encouragement to spur them on!  You may not be able to physically walk five miles alongside someone, but a few positive, uplifting words can be just as effective.

Now to squeeze back into my “skinny jeans” because I have a book to finish!

Happy Mother's Day! (Now Leave Me Alone)

Dear Children (and their father),

I know you all love me, as you frequently tell me and write so sweetly in the handmade mother’s day cards that I receive each year.  It’s not that I don’t appreciate your efforts…I really do!  It’s just that I have a new idea for our celebration this year and I thought I’d throw it past you to see what you all think.

You know how every Mother’s Day before church, you each tell me “Happy Mother’s Day!” somewhere in-between my badgering one of you to PLEASE go find some clean socks and put them on and I ask the other to stop shoveling handfuls of Apple Jacks into your mouth while standing in front of the cabinet (would it kill ya to use a bowl?), while I continually nag the third slowpoke to brush your hair so no one mistakes you for someone in need of a homeless shelter?  Yeah, THAT Mother’s Day morning.  Not that any of us can differentiate the Mother’s Days in my life.  Well, except that many years ago, my mornings revolved around changing diapers and giving bottles and sippie cups and getting you all dressed in some semi-respectable form and hoping we could be out the door for church before someone needed another round of diapers/bottles/sippie cups/clothes.  I guess somewhere in there, I was supposed to be getting dressed and eating breakfast and putting on make up.  But, I eventually got used to eating a cheese stick en route to church and having my “morning coffee” sometime after I fed everyone lunch and got the youngest down for naptime.

Where was I??  Oh yes!  My new idea!

Now perhaps it’s just that I’m feeling worn down like old carpeting that spurred me on to my brilliant plan.  Or it’s that I finally realized that with the exception of being handed your beautiful cards and sometimes going out to lunch, Mother’s Day was kinda feeling like most any other day.  Although, when you were all younger, I think it was MORE work for me (and you too, dear) to take the three of you out to eat.  You were always wonderful little eater-outers, but I still schlepped the loaded-diaper kiddo to the grimy, tray-in-the-wall changing station thingie, helped everyone pick out the perfect menu item that I knew you’d each love AND eat, cut everyone’s food, listened to the same knock-knock joke at least three times (since you each needed to give it a shot) and eventually ate a few bites of my (then cold) lunch, washed down with my luke-warm coffee.  Now that you’re all growing up so fast and have far more interesting/wonderful/funny friends than I can ever hope to be, it’s become a juggling act of schedules (and I play master-juggler) to make sure I see each of you on Mother’s Day.  Although I DO see you quite well from the metal bleachers as both of you boys usually have baseball tournaments on Mother’s Day weekend.  So, as I’m working fast and furiously on my farmer’s tan and numb butt, you’re right; I DO see you.  At the plate.  On the pitcher’s mound.  At first base.  At short stop.  That is, I see you boys when I’m not off looking to keep an eye on you, the baseball bored sister.  Or, accompanying you to the pervert-attracting bathrooms at the baseball field.  (At least I’m sure they are, based on a NightLine episode I saw once.)

Remember that Mother’s Day a few years ago when the weather was gross and I didn’t feel all that great?  And, I stayed in bed ALL DAY and watched TV and ate all my meals in bed and in front of the TV?  And, I shut the door so you all thought I was deathly ill, but remained conscience enough to watch really old movies (like“Sixteen Candles” and “The Breakfast Club”) on TV?  And it was WONDERFUL?!?!  Remember that?  It gave birth to my ingenious idea!

My amazing idea:

Could you all please leave me alone on Mother’s Day?

Like, after church, you guys all go do whatever you want to….but don’t include me.  Really, truly, honestly, I am NOT offended.  Maybe Dad can take you to a new movie, or on a really LONG walk, or out to lunch and dinner….or do all these ideas!  I wish you all could fully understand the sheer joy I would have by being given a few solid hours ALONE.  IN.  MY.  OWN.  HOME.  It’s better than a day at the spa!!!  I would crank my music (which, yes, you've all assured me is horrible, talentless noise compared to the gems of songs you guys love), sing as loud as I wanted to, eat popcorn for lunch, sit and stare at a wall for a bit (because I CAN) and even curl up with a good book.  And, you wouldn't KNOW I was sitting down with a good book, so none of you would HAVE to need me at that exact moment with some variety of a crisis.  Brilliant, huh?  I might even take myself to a coffee shop and instead of grabbing my coffee and leaving, I may become a sit-there-with-a-book woman.  AND, I may get a refill on my coffee if the book is especially captivating.  It’s almost downright deliciously scandalous.

Kids, I KNOW you’ll have fun with Dad.  And Sweetie, the kids really do crave more quality time with you considering all the long hours you put in.  Truly, we’re all getting the best of both worlds.  See!  I’m a great mom….still thinking of what’s best for all of you, even on Mother’s Day! :)  So, whaddya think?  Genius, huh?

Love you all a bunch and I hope you have an amazing time on your special day out together.

Love,
Mama

P.S.  And to anyone else who may find this letter and think, “This awful mother needs to appreciate what Mother’s Day means and be with her family all day!  Family is precious and this mother won’t know what she’s missing until one day it’s gone!”  Yes, I agree.  My family is amazingly precious and I love them dearly.  And, I’ve got 364 other days of the year to marinate in the constant preciousness of the job called “motherhood.”

What If.....I'm Prepared?

(I understand there is wide spread devastation throughout the Mid-West and the South from recent severe storms, and I do not intend to make light of those situations.  It is even more pressing to me that families begin to give serious thought to what could, should and would happen if they were part of any kind of disaster.  I hope that each family feels spurred on to have a plan for handling situations ranging from a minor inconvenience to a major tragedy and everything in-between.)


Did you know that you can subscribe to text alerts from ComEd?  You will be notified about power outages and can receive updates about restoration efforts.  And although I could write pages about the awful and out dated power infrastructure here in the south end of town, I’ll just say I have a healthy texting relationship with the power company.  As in, they almost qualify for the “friends and family” reduced texting rates.  Almost.

During a cold winter outage in February (I think someone sneezed near a transformer), I was chatting with a friend about keeping a home at a tolerable temperature during cold weather conditions and no power.  She admitted that she had no plan and no solid idea about what to do.  We discussed a few ideas about closing off the house and using the fireplace, how to keep the pipes from freezing (run both the hot and cold water at a very S-L-O-W drip, using one sink on each level of the house) and I told her about playing the “What If?” game.  My Mom made up this game, and I now play it with my own children.  It’s a creative thinking game, meant to spur conversation and spark ideas.  It goes something like this:

• WHAT IF we lost power for a day in the deep of winter?
• WHAT IF we lost power for four days in the hottest part of August?
• WHAT IF a pipe burst in the basement and it started to flood?
• WHAT IF I (mom) was lying on the floor, unresponsive?
• WHAT IF a micro burst (cousin to a tornado) ripped through our town and the tornado sirens were sounding?

In the past four years, every one of those “what if” questions became reality for my family.  And despite stress (and a touch of frantic hyperventilating), we had a workable plan for each scenario.  I’m not saying it was easy to deal with each situation, but it sure helped our family to have some kind of plan BEFORE it happened!

Consider a few more questions in the “What If?” game.

WHAT IF oil prices skyrocketed and gasoline DID get to $6 or $7 a gallon?  What car trips would be eliminated and how could I best combine all my running around into an organized, well thought out plan?  What would I do if there was a gasoline shortage?  Did you know that in 1974, the government printed, but did not distribute, five billion gasoline-rationing coupons?  http://www.postalmuseum.si.edu/museum/1d_gas_coupons.html

WHAT IF the economy got so bad that there was a run on the bank (a la George Bailey in It’s A Wonderful Life) and the ATM was all out of money?  (How sad is it that my kids used to think money only came from the “box at the bank”?!)  It’s really not a far-fetched idea considering a bank run happened in England only a few years ago.   What would I do if the power was out for an extended time and credit card readers didn’t work?  I am NOT suggesting putting your life savings under a mattress, but do you have any cash in reserves that you can access without going to the bank?

WHAT IF the power was out long enough to keep the grocery stores closed for days on end?  A week?  (What if the coffee shops were closed?? gasp!)  If the power outage was compounded by flooding and roads were impassable, what would I do?  How would I heat or cool my home?  Do I have any non-perishable food stored?  It may be time to start thinking in terms of camping and “roughing it” at home!  Did you know that the average grocery store has only 2-3 days of food in reserve?  What is your plan if the food delivery trucks don't arrive at the grocery store?  Stocking up just before an impending storm usually results in bare shelves and plenty of news reports about the bare shelves!  Who wants to be shopping with everyone else, thinking their frozen pizza, jar of peanut butter and gallon of milk will supply their family for a week?  (After our power was out, it did make me chuckle to think of all the frozen pizzas I saw being purchased.)

WHAT IF our water became unsafe for use?  Do I have the means or know-how to make the water safe?

WHAT IF some futuristic-like, funky techie disaster happened and the Internet went down?  Not a power outage that kills your modem, but an actual “my smart phone doesn’t work!” scenario.  We’d be email-less! Facebook-less!  Twitter-less!  YouTube-less!  In other words: life-less, use-less and hope-less.  Take comfort—we’d be full of pathetic-ness!

It may seem this blog post is supremely depressing and pessimistic.  (I’m still reeling from the possibility of coffee shops being closed for long stretches of time!)  However, I think it’s good to give thought and consideration to these questions and countless others like it.  It is reality that “stuff” will happen.  Just watch the news—severe weather, natural disaster, economic distress.  During Chicago’s 2011 snowstorm (AKA Snoprah, Snowmageddon, Snowpocalypse, SnOMG), I am certain that many of the stranded motorists thought they’d “never” get stuck in their car, on a freeway for over twelve hours.

View the “What If?” game like insurance or a warranty.  Most everyone has insurance for their car, health, house and life and warranties on their washing machine, car, ear buds, etc.  (Yep, my teen son has a two-year, full-coverage warranty on his ear buds, and it set him back a total of $5 for the two years.)  With insurance and warranties, you hope to never need to make a claim or use them in any way.  But, when the day comes you thought “would never happen,” aren’t you grateful for the coverage?  (Like when the right ear bud quit working and it was replaced!)  No one mocks having car and health insurance as being over the top and fanatical, so don’t be afraid to think about these “What If?” game questions.

By taking the first steps of thinking about and discussing a workable plan for a potential disaster*, you will be a bit more prepared to use your time on action and not emotion.  (* “unfortunate incident” may be used to sound less threatening.  Use whatever language makes you feel less like a back woods survivalist freak.)  

I know a lot has been said about “preparedness” and there are many survival books, readiness blogs and seminars…some great and some way over the top.  To go from “I have one jar of peanut butter” to “I’m stocked with 27 gallons of peanut butter” is a huge jump.  (And NOT one I’m recommending you take!)  (Unless you really have a thing for peanut butter.)  It cannot hurt to open your mind to some possibilities and solutions.  In the midst of a flood, power outage or earthquake is NOT the time to start thinking about “What if…..”  A good teacher doesn’t walk into the classroom and start lesson planning after the students are in their seats.  I am certain that I would rather be over-prepared than under-prepared!

To get some sane answers to some of the “What If?” game questions, I would recommend the following resources:

• www.ready.gov   Here you can access common sense check lists, each state’s readiness website, as well as links to ReadyKids, which is designed just for children.
• http://www.sesamestreet.org/ready  Um…if Seasame Street is getting involved, I think it’s VERY reasonable that you should too.
• http://www.thepreproom.net  Be sure to check out this site, especially the blog portion where you will find very interesting news items and commentary.  I would HIGHLY recommend the book Just In Case, which is sold on this site, as a great beginning tool.  If you “like” The Prep Room on FaceBook. you will receive a discount when buying anything from their site! http://www.facebook.com/ThePrepRoom
• Another great resource to get you asking more “What If” questions is to watch History Channel’s “After Armageddon” on YouTube.  The show is divided into segments, so be sure to watch them in order.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r97xoSOEjM

There is so much more to be said on this topic and it could easily become a three-part post!  Leave a comment if you would find more articles on this topic helpful.  The bottom line is that we all need to start somewhere, and I’d suggest you start by playing the “What If?” game to get the conversation going!  And with the rate of “unfortunate incidences” I’m seeing on the news, I wouldn’t wait to start.

For me, I’m still working on, “What if I didn’t get my morning coffee?”  (And hoping the answer is less dramatic than “Armageddon” or “apocalypse.”)